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3/23/07 01:42 pm - Nice day so far
I had to go out of town to take pictures for work this afternoon. It was lovely being outside next to water, with the fresh air cleaning out my system...breathing life into me. I was pleasantly surprised to be blatently flirted with by 3 guys. One even sent his dog to come have me pet him. It's so bizarre to me how lately I've been getting more flirting and attention from men. I recently lost 30 lbs, and 50 all together. I don't feel I look any different, even tho I get to wear smaller and cuter clothes. I feel pretty much the same inside, and I'm still proportionally the same. Friends are supposed to tell you look good....which I always just view as a courtesy whether they mean it or not. But total strangers? Them I believe. I have 30 more lbs to go to get to pre-pregnancy weight, and to fit into a cute pair of shorts that I love. One of the good things about being so fat for so long is that I was purely delusional sometimes. I would buy things that I couldn't even fit over my ass...but somehow thought I'd look good in that pair of jeans. I have clothes from over 10 years ago that I kept "just in case" I ever lost weight. I am finally fitting into the clothes from my 10-year collection. Some of it I find quite icky and donate now. But hey...at least I can wear icky stuff if I want, eh?
My son is turning 10 in a couple of months...which made me realize how sad that I've been using the pregnancy weight gain excuse for almost 10 years!!!! That's just sad. I've really been trying to deal with my PTSD and depression actively. That's one of the reasons I started excersizing and eating healthier. All that I've read tells me that excersize greatly reduces depression and anxiety. Is that true for me? Not sure...but I'd sure hate to see what I'd be like without excersizing. What finally made something click in me was when I finally watched "Supersize Me". It made me get up, go to the computer, and do reasearch about the food pyramid and made me look at what I need to do to be healthier. Another reason I'm doing it is because...I want a garden. I don't want to just say I want a garden. I want to be energetic enough to actually take care of one. Now I just need a yard with some dirt :)
My son is turning 10 in a couple of months...which made me realize how sad that I've been using the pregnancy weight gain excuse for almost 10 years!!!! That's just sad. I've really been trying to deal with my PTSD and depression actively. That's one of the reasons I started excersizing and eating healthier. All that I've read tells me that excersize greatly reduces depression and anxiety. Is that true for me? Not sure...but I'd sure hate to see what I'd be like without excersizing. What finally made something click in me was when I finally watched "Supersize Me". It made me get up, go to the computer, and do reasearch about the food pyramid and made me look at what I need to do to be healthier. Another reason I'm doing it is because...I want a garden. I don't want to just say I want a garden. I want to be energetic enough to actually take care of one. Now I just need a yard with some dirt :)
Fall Out Boy
hopeful
horny